Forewarning: This is NOT a pleasent post to read. It may cause depression, disgust or it may do nothing at all. In any case this is certainly a waste of your most unprecious time.


The world again has proved to me that it's becoming such a lousy crazy place to simply exist. Loads and loads of people live on the hope that they can change it. This whole site is based on the idea of trying and changing it all. All those who are here want to make a difference. But does my existence here make any difference? does it change the world? does it do anything at all ?
Going through the blogs i regurlarly visit just depresses me.Politics is screwing up the world. News never change, I cant hear it anymore. We want be educated, knowledgeable and uptodate. Not me. Not anymore. And yes i wanna be stupid and yes I do envy ignorant people. I wanna be a coward and runaway from it all. I dont wanna take responsibility for wat others are just screwing up, turning around and not caring wat effects it might have on other people. If noone cares, why the hell sould I? Now dont bring me all the "you can still make a difference" and "it all starts with one person" along with the "If you didnt do it, who will" crap coz tht so ideological and theoratical im sick of it. Forget about improving education or fighting hunger or poverty, forget about standng up for what u believe in coz it they're just gonna wack u down their way or the Egyptian raping way. Forget about world peace, humanity, equality and all the big terms u'll have to look up in dictionaries to find out wat they really mean. Forget about ideology and theories, hopes, dreams and wishes and get down to the real world that really is. Noone really cares if anyone else is feeling a bit lousy in a day, or is hungry in a day, or is smiling in a day. How many times do u think if that person sitting next to u on the bus is happy? how many times do u think about people in hospitals suffering from an unknown desease? How many times does it cross ur mind that the person infront of u might be the unhappiest person ever? Null times. And thats because simply we do not care. we dont. we just dont.

Unfortunatly, I do not cease to exist simply because í'm unhappy with what a messed up, lousy, unbearable, cruel (the list goes on) place im living in. So again, If you're goin thru hell, keep goin. Dont act it up as if ur the caring person of the day. im actually quite surprised ur still reading this.